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Adore

by Airs

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1.
Adore 04:46
Touch me softly. My hair in your fingers. Your heat all around me. Racing, jumping pulse. I wish this wasn't so easy. I wish I had more control. I resist because I lack it and I give in because I'd never. I can't hear anything, I'm just watching it happen and you're the one that I like so this is what I want, right? It's what I've always wanted. I'd forgive you if I knew you've done some wrong. It's all I've ever wanted but it's everything I'm afraid of.
2.
Blue 03:03
Heal me. Break this pattern. This never-ending stream of hopelessness. Just as soon as I start to stand I am pulled back down to a crawl. I almost feel nothing at all. All the time I just feel so small. I can't accomplish anything when it all seems so pointless and the end makes the means not worth it at all. Conscious saturation, selfish allegation, moving inside and breaking through the veins in the mold. As I walk without aim down the streets of anywhere I see in shallow puddles an atrophied soul and a vacant stare. Some day it'll find you. No one gets away from this so easily. Do you have any heart? Do you have a conscience? They were so powerless and fragile ...they didn't have to go but your cowardice and senseless lusts took hold and brought you to hurt. So few of us left to see them as they're put into the earth. You took them all and I'm left to push on. Does everyone truly die alone? I hope you die alone. The next time you see my face it won't be recognizable. The next time you hear my voice you won't even know it's there. And when you reach out to touch my face I hope the cold bites at your skin. And as you cringe and stuff it down, you'll know just what went wrong. Kill me. Break this pattern. This never-ending stream of heartlessness. Just as soon as I start to stand I am pulled back down to a crawl. I really feel nothing at all. All the time I just feel so small.
3.
The night is still and overlit. No one even knows how close to death they are. They go about their days, not questioning all the faces they see on screens, telling truths. Hidden walls are covering the understated emergency, guiding all our cognition and our base desires. Blank expressions implying a calm, collected safety. Folded sheets of printing paper, empty words in telephones. Information of the undetermined. We all fall deeper into the hole. So many dying breaths obscured by shouting men, unnoticed by others, their warnings unheard. Still for a moment, just for a moment, take it in all together. Speak ever coldly and carry the smallest torch. While the world is crumbling beneath your feet, you will let it go.
4.
Missing 04:56
Disappearing, drifting away, growing apart. Spoken as only someone like you would speak to someone new. Hollow, desperate, break it through me as I melt through you. Only then will you know what I feel. Growing pains and flowing rains, at slow pace everything will look different from the other side of our welling eyes.
5.
Adrift 03:09
I see it topple over and fall down, and even though it's always close to me I feel like it wants to drift away, away. Empty smiles and jaded hearts. It spins oh so slightly around and falls ever faster. Just catch me before it breaks. Forward momentum giving force to sound. Errantly travelling over a cold breeze. I hope we get there soon. I hope it happens soon.
6.
Sundials 04:03
Gravel presses against my feet, both bare and damp. It seems almost painfully cold due to the weather. I wrap my arms together to keep warm but it doesn't seem to help enough. "So, it's been 14 years. Everyone's doing great. We still work at the same place but it's hard to get a real job. You knew that but you tried so hard." After a moment's pause, I expel a sigh. My breath sounds like I'm being shaken up even though I'm sitting still. An icy wind rushes just across my legs as they sit bent in front of me. On my feet, a moth lands and cleans its wings. My face aches and I bury it in my hands. "... Sometimes it comes all at once and I cry myself to sleep. Sometimes it's just a glimpse and I have to put it out of my mind. I've had a lot of late nights. I feel like there was so much more to say. The hole you left is only scarring over." The weathered sundial, still and voiceless, passes another notch as the clouds obscure the sun.
7.
Chase me down the street and don't slip up or you'll never win. Call me all the sweetest names you think of late at night. Feel my heart thumping outside my chest when you brush up to me. Hold my cold hands and keep them warm as you do so well. Curl up right beside me and let's listen to the tape we made. Play it over again, make sure to listen closely. Doesn't it sound just like we're right back to where it happened first? Doesn't it feel great to know it's still happening now? I feel you every day when there is really no way for me to know if you will even say that I am why you stay away, or if you will say that you don't belong to me either. You know what I really meant. You and I should go. We should really go. More than you can know, more than you will really show. I'll chase you down the street and won't slip up or I won't ever win. Call you all the sweetest names I think of late at night. Feel your heart thumping outside your chest when I brush up to you. Hold your cold hands and keep them warm as I do so well. I see you every day when there is really no way for me to know if you will even say that it's not all right to feel this way about our lives. Don't you know ...for you, I will still look out windows and hope I see you smiling again. Turn around. Come back.
8.
It's as if you mean to say that it all meant nothing. It's as if you wanted nothing. I didn't realize you lusted what we had both laughed off. Forgive me for assuming you stood out from all the worst. I can't keep my head straight. Everything has flipped completely around and nothing makes any sense anymore. You fucking lied. Smiling and sitting there, holding that knife in my gut. Don't stop for me, I would rather be dead. Forget it, just forget it, don't let me interrupt you. When my chest caves and I shatter I hope that you feel it, too. You've shown us all exactly what you're worth and how you feel, all the gestures and your humanity just fall right through the floor. You're dead to me and everybody else and I hope your loved ones haven't mourned as much as me. Do you really think that I would just forget? Do you really think I am that oblivious? I never want to see you again.

about

Written and recorded between September 2011 and January 2013.
Mastered by Jack Shirley at The Atomic Garden.

Adore is an album about the disintegration of friendships and relationships and the inability to do anything about it.

Additional vocals on "Missing" by Britty Drake (Pity Sex/Procession).
Spoken word on "Adore" by Cat Miyashiro.


"...anyone into broody, blissy shoegaziness of all stripes, Tied To The Branches to Swervedriver, My Bloody Valentine to Foreign Cinema, Moonbell to Grave Babies, will definitely dig this big time." - aQ

"Although initially written off by some as mere Alcest-copyists, with subsequent releases Airs have pushed their sound forward, finessing their style to offer something unique and in the process have (thankfully) distanced themselves from what has become an increasingly stagnant post-black metal scheme." - distantlandscapes

"These are some of the most aggressive (non-metallic) songs I've heard from the band. They have that sort of punk sort of edge that makes it feel very upbeat and energetic but rarely crosses the line by actually bringing in more intense metal ideas. The entire record also reminded me a lot of those early to mid 90s shoegaze releases where you had bands write more energetic and aggressive songs that still managed to be noisy and full of atmosphere..." - Don't Count On It

credits

released February 14, 2013

All music and lyrics by Airs.
Mastered by Jack Shirley at The Atomic Garden.

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Airs San Francisco

(Formerly the) loudest band in San Francisco.

RIP 2009-2015

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